Funny News Stories

England fans stranded in one way street

Two English football fans in Cologne lost their car after mistakenly thinking they had parked it on a road called 'One Way Street'.
The pair wrote down 'Einbahn Strasse' - which means one-way street in German - so they didn't forget where they'd left the hire car.
But when they came to find it again they found that every second street in the inner city was called 'Einbahn Strasse'.
It was only when they found a policeman that they were told the sign was to inform drivers that they were on a one-way street.
They finally managed to find their vehicle hours later with the help of the German police.

Drivers made to hop like frogs

Truck drivers who are caught speeding in an Indian state are being made to hop like frogs.
Police in Bihar dish out the humiliating punishments instead of taking offenders to court, reports Newindpress.com.
For the most popular punishment, leapfrog, speeding truck drivers have to sit on their haunches, hold their ears and hop for almost half a kilometre.
And the drivers are made to chant the name of the political leader they like most while they are being punished.
One policeman was quoted as saying: "If they remember their leader when they are being punished, it's like they are insulting them. If they have any sense, they won't do the offence again."

Mummy's boy robber

An armed robber rang his mum on his mobile phone when he found himself cornered by police during a raid.
The man, 26, was trying to rob an electronics shop in Sao Paulo, Brazil, when police arrived, Agora newspaper reports.
He then threatened the hostages and said that he would not do anything until he had spoken to his mother.
The robber, who had four accomplices, called his mother and, after speaking to her, agreed to release the hostages.
A police spokesman said: "I never saw anything like this before, he was the classic case of a mama's boy until the end.
"He followed everything she advised and all went well."

Gentleman mugger jailed

A gentleman mugger has been jailed despite his elderly victim's pleas for him to be let off because he was so polite.
The pensioner told the court in Salzburg, Austria, that she had not come across such a well mannered criminal for a long time.
The man grabbed the old woman's bag and ran off but returned when he noticed she had fallen to the ground.
"When he saw me fall, he came back. Criminals just don't do that any more," she said.
"He was very neat and well mannered and asked me not to report him. He said he was really sorry, but was just desperate for money," she told the court.
The 27-year-old, who has not been named, then helped his victim search for her keys which had fallen out when he grabbed the bag.
Police arrested the well mannered mugger after being called out by a passer-by who had witnessed the incident.
He was jailed for two-and-a-half years despite the pensioner's testimony after it was revealed it was not his first offence.

Drunk driver rang police

A drunk driver was arrested in Germany after he accidentally rang the police instead of a breakdown service when he had a flat tyre.
Before he realised who he was speaking to, the 31-year-old let it slip that he had no licence and was driving under the influence.
The civil servant, who lost his licence eight years ago, had a blow out in the western town of Monheim while driving a car borrowed from a friend.
He had a blood alcohol level that was seven times the legal limit, and when he tried to call the German equivalent of the AA he became confused and dialled the emergency number for the police.
The drunken man phoned and said: "My car is broken and I need you to come and fix it. You better be quick because I'm really pretty drunk and I don't have a licence so it wouldn't be good if the cops drove past."
A Monheim police spokesman said: "He wanted us to come quickly, so we did."

OAP shoplifter lacks bite

A 70-year-old shoplifter tried to evade capture by biting an arresting officer before realising he'd left his dentures at home.
Pensioner Gustav Ernegger turned on the policeman when he grabbed him as he ran out of a clothes shop in Braunschweig, Germany, after stealing a shirt.
But instead of sinking his teeth into the officer's arm, he was only able to leave a wet mark from his gums.
Police spokesman Gunther Brauner said: "He tried to bite the officer several times, but had forgotten to put his false teeth in and so was unable to cause him any harm."

Defendant hurled slipper at judge

An Indian man allegedly hurled a slipper at a court judge who promptly threw a paperweight back in reply.
Nazir Mohammad was in court in Baroda on charges of housebreaking and theft when he jumped out of the witness box and rushed towards the judge.
The robber, reportedly irritated with the slow pace of the case, took off his slipper and threw it at Chief judicial magistrate C D Vaghela.
Judge Vaghela immediately picked up a paperweight from his desk and threw it back at the accused, reports Midday.
Mohammed, who attacked two other judges last year in similar fashion, has been sent back to prison with an extra offence registered against him.
Members of the Baroda Bar Association went on strike after the incident to protest at the lack of security for judges, lawyers and witnesses.

Granny rugby-tackled jay walker

A 77-year-old granny made a citizen's arrest in Germany when she rugby-tackled a 25-year-old jay walker.
The pensioner sat on him until police arrived - because he had walked across a road before the light was green.
The woman, from Freital, near Dresden, shouted at the man as he crossed the road before the little green man flashed up.
The old lady said she became even angrier when he hit her with his rucksack as he pushed past her when he reached the other side of the road.
She grabbed his hair and managed to wrestle him to the ground where she sat on him until police, who had been called by a passer-by, came.
He was taken to a local police station where he was fined for jay walking.

Man learns to tell 'pigs' from cops

A New Zealand man who called police officers 'pigs' has been ordered to spend a day at a pig farm.
The 22-year-old has also been ordered to write an essay about the difference between pigs and police officers.
The man was charged with using offensive language after he hurled abuse at police during a trip to Auckland.
Community Magistrate Robyn Paterson at Tauranga District Court ordered him to spend a day at a pig farm and present a short essay on his experiences, reports The Bay of Plenty Times.
According to the newspaper, he wrote: "I was very, very drunk. I have stopped drinking because of what happened. I have wasted the police's time and my time."
He maintained the word pig could be found in the Oxford dictionary and was often used to describe police.
But added he had learned 'that there is nothing at all in common with a pig and an officer'.

Hostage released for pizza

An Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met.
Up to 20 inmates at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, seized the guard in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail.
Initially they made 24 demands to authorities, but eventually gave up their hostage after agreeing to 15 pizzas, Coke and garlic bread instead.
"At midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered. Our staff member was negotiated out with the delivery of 15 pizzas," Graeme Barber, Tasmania's director of prisons, told The Advocate newspaper.
The guard is recovering from his ordeal at home.