If you are easily offended by jokes of a sexual nature please do not read this post

wigan girls pick up a perfume sample from the counter.

sharon sprays it on her wrist

"thats nice innit trace dont you fink"

"yeah whats it called?"

"vien a moi!"

"what the f**k does that mean shaz ?"

the assistant pipes up, "its french for ..come to me "

shaz sniffs again

"dont smell like come to me, does it to you trace"

im really sorry if i offended anyonebut sled/jim egged me on and i apologise

ha ha ha sled its your fault pal

My fault, my fault.
Tchh he's blaming me now.
Just like a scouser.

We have very lazy forum mods

wait, i'm a mod too

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. Apparently someone slipped something into their drinks, and they woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, 'I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the Almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.' They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.



The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.. 'I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in
the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.' They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.



The last one (you knew it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, 'Well, I'm from the University of Tennessee and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.'

ooooppppsssssssss..............sorry not sure how that happened

Sparky wrote: We have very lazy forum mods

wait, i'm a mod too

I changed the title and put it in red as a warning what more do you want? Surely you are not suggestion censorship, are you?

Nice jockes! I dont think that somebody could be hurt, insulted ore be whatever by this (if i understand them right ).

I'm happy you agree, Alex.

Can I ask that all jokes of this nature are restricted to this post, as there are people that may be offended. This way they have been warned and can avoid it. Thank you.


pffft who says I'm a lazy mod?

> Choosing a wife
>
> A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among
> three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and
> watches to see what they do with the money.
>
>
> The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
> gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses
> up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be
> more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
>
> The man was impressed.
>
>
>
>
> The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
> of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
> clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
> all the money on him because she loves him so much.
>
>
> Again, the man is impressed.
>
>
>
>
> The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
> times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the
> remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
> their future because she loves him so much.
>
>
>
>
> Obviously, the man was impressed.
>
>
>
>
> The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with
> the money he'd given her.
>
>
>
> Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
>
>
> Men are like that, you know.

thanks alex as they were just a bit of fun, with no intention to offend.

I think a person would have to have no sense of humour to start censoring this topic !!!!

Does anyone want to nominate someone ?? LOL

ha ha rose....dont tempt fate O_O

no volunteers then ??? lol

Maybe from a certain European country ??

iran maybe?

lol no, closer to the UK, not known for their sense of humour

germanica perhaps? lolol sorry any german people reading this

lol i didn't say the country, it wasn't me, I didn't do it.

dagnabit gemma you twicked me into saying it

I didn't trick nobody !!!!

I am a good girl, so there !!!!!!

yeah yeah yeah, your mind is extremely fiendish you used a technique to get me to say it then boom! u fade to grey O_O

kudos missy